What it Takes To Win

While many seek success in the short-term and quick-wins, David Lykken teaches the principles that allow you to have those AND a long career filled with success and impact. 

When you’re clear who you can help and how you can help them, it takes the pressure off of you to try and convince all people to work with you. 

Instead, you’re able to cast a wide net, meaning be known in all of the places you should be known, and then be able to choose to work with only those who are in true alignment with you, your values and the value that you bring to the marketplace. 

Audio Podcast Timestamps

1:46- Why David has two podcasts now and is launching another one, possibly two.

2:47- What it takes to win over long periods of time

4:50- Look for fit and alignment keeps you from having to force it

6:57- Why scarcity is keeping people too busy working with the wrong people

13:26- Why your leading value proposition should not be friendship

17:35- What David does to continue to be a Big Thinker and ever expand his own possibilities

Email David to have a conversation about coaching directly with him or with his team: david@tms-advisors.com

Justin Stoddart
So the big question is this: How do those of us in the real estate industry, with crazy amounts of ambition, how do we Think Bigger than the building of our own empires? How do we simultaneously seek success and significance, income and impact? My name is Justin Stoddart and this is the Think Bigger Real Estate Show.

Justin Stoddart
Welcome back to The Think Bigger Real Estate Show, back today with another amazing guest. This one is nationally known, potentially beyond that, and is going to teach us very specific clues to success. You see, success leaves clues, and today’s guest is going to talk about what it takes to win and win over long periods of time.

Justin Stoddart
Before we introduce him fully to you. Let me remind you that inside the Think Bigger Real Estate Group on Facebook, we go deep on these topics. We help you engage because that’s where you learn, that’s where you transform, is when you engage, when you teach other people. So come join us there inside the Think Bigger Real Estate Group on Facebook.

Justin Stoddart
Today’s guest His name is David Lykken. For the past 27 years, he’s built national mortgage companies and and ran national mortgage companies, has the longest standing podcast in the lending space. And beyond that he just now has a very successful coaching company. He is the right guy for us to learn from, for us to talk to. David Lykken, thank you for coming on to the Think Bigger Real Estate Show today.

David Lykken
Good. Good to be here. Thank you, Justin.

Justin Stoddart
Yeah, my pleasure. Now you actually have two podcasts, Lykken on Lending and Lykken on Leadership.

David Lykken
Yep. And about ready to launch another one and possibly another one after that. Yeah.

Justin Stoddart
You love the game? You know, I think it’s a it’s a great secret and it’s becoming less secret. Now. I’ve developed if I’d love to ask you this question, obviously, you’re adding more podcasts. What’s your favorite part about being a podcast host

David Lykken
Connecting with people, it’s the most amazing way to do that. In case you look at how busy our lives are. And you you find a way we need information. If we’re serious about our careers, we need information. So we find people that provide that information. And a podcast does that the more successful you are at providing the information. And doing so in a way that has good energy connects with people, you have a larger audience, a larger audience brings more opportunity. And so we found herself here and we enjoy it.

Justin Stoddart
I would have to say the same thing I often get asked like, Are you glad you started your podcasts? And this has been probably three years ago that I’ve started it, you know, started it? And yeah, it’s one of the best ways I think it’s a personal growth plan. It’s a networking plan. There’s all kinds of benefits in addition to impacting other people, and hearing some wonderful comments that absolutely warmed my my soul, what you just described, there are also some of my favorite reasons for doing what we do.

Justin Stoddart
David, let’s talk a little bit about this concept that that of how to win over time, right? Often people talk about like, like, I’m gonna, I’m gonna have a great quarter, I’m gonna have a great year, I’m gonna have a great second half of the year, right? We’re talking on July 1, which is the second half of the year, I can’t believe it. And a lot of people have those kinds of perspectives, right? Like, like, how am I going to win for the next, you know, six months, and I finished the year out how I want to? I’d love to hear your thoughts on that. But then I also want to jump to what does it take to win over a 27 year, iconic career?

David Lykken
Yeah, well, it’s actually 47 years. I’m turning 71 in August. So it’s been a long journey. But I learned early on my dad was an inspiration to me, and he read inspirational materials connected with Zig Ziglar. A long time ago, Zig said he’s one of the things one of the statements he’s famous for, I’m not sure he he certainly made it famous. I’m not sure he’s the one that actually created the statement or read the statement originally with him. But he said how you become successful is helping other people achieve what they want, you’ll achieve then what you want. So what I have found is and that’s why I started my career 47 years ago, I I found helping people achieve homeownership is probably one of the most rewarding, transformative things, transformative things you could do for someone’s life. And that’s what I’ve made a career out for 47 years. And now I do that through coaching and consulting been doing that for the last 20 years. That’s probably where you got the 20 year part of it. And I just love making a difference in people’s lives. And the way you do that is connecting with them. And again, podcast works well. This is a way to get find out the cast a big net find out if my voice, my approach resonates. With those, for those who does. they call me. For those that it doesn’t, they don’t.

Justin Stoddart
Yeah, I love that a great, great, great approach of like cast a wide net and see who you can serve right who’s so

David Lykken
There’s that and then I love the laser focus too. So there’s there I have a wide net in certain regards, but then who I choose to do business with, then that starts everything else. So everyone It comes to me. I don’t particularly always choose to do business with it’s not that they’re bad people or anything like this. But what I find is alignment and engagement. Have you ever had one of those conversations and you just feel like you had adjusted and they didn’t you didn’t connect, it just didn’t get that, that feeling that you are heard? Or that you understood where they’re at, they’re confused in their message, your can, you know, something just wasn’t working? You know what I mean by that? Yeah, yeah, those are relationships that, you know, if you beat yourself up trying to make something like that to work, you’re not going to be most likely have success at the end of that. So find those. So I cast a big debt to draw in and get the population from which I will then laser target. And those are the ones that you can make the greatest difference in.

Justin Stoddart
You know, I think, again, because this audience is primarily residential real estate agents. I think that there’s a lot of wisdom in what you just described right there, like be known, right? Be known in your area, everybody should know who you are. But then those people that you really resonate with, who match your energy match your thinking, go laser focus with them. Is that what I hear you saying, the proper application?

David Lykken
That is really the secret sauce that I have applied to being cast to big nebt, get out there get a good name, I mean, and how you do that is providing information helping people achieve their objectives. Now, the ones you choose to actually engage with, those are the ones that align with you. And I think it’s like whether it’s hiring an employee, or engaging with a client, there’s just certain people that are meant to work with others than others are not. And so wherever you’re picking your engagement, whether it’s a spouse, whether it’s an employee, whether it’s a prospective client, find the one to engage with, there’s there’s people that each of us uniquely resonate with. And when we’re resonating with them, Justin, life is a whole lot more fun, because you’re talking to people that get you

Justin Stoddart
Would you say, David that a lot of the reason why people maybe don’t win and or they don’t win sustainably over time, is because they try and serve too many people, rather than taking on that strategy that you just described there. Again, being known in all the places that you should be known. But then being willing to say, you know, that’s not the right person actually saying no to other people so that you can say yes, to the right people. Would you say that that’s a clue?

David Lykken
And it’s a clue. And it’s crazy, it’s called the law of scarcity. If you create a certain amount of scarcity, I can only serve a few, let me interview you to see if he if there’s a good alignment, because if there’s not, I’m not gonna be able to help you. And I’m sure there’s someone who can. And by that it changes the dynamics of the early side of the engagement. So what I do is I create scarcity by saying, I can only handle this many people. And I therefore am wanting to be respectful of your time and want to make sure you achieve the success you want. So let’s sync up here, let’s, let’s get some basic foundational principles. This is how I operate. Does that work for you? How do you operate? Does that work for me. And once you create that alignment, you’re going to draw people and what’s then what’s so interesting about that Justin, is there’s a sense that it’s a privilege to work with each other. It’s not that it’s a privilege for them to work with me. But it’s a joint equal privilege, we are privileged, because we could say we get each other or we just align each other. And those are valued relationships. It’s interesting, 47 years ago, I did mortgage loans, I’m still friends with some of those people, some of the first mortgage loans I did 47 years ago. That’s amazing. So and it’s because I learned the principle of connecting with the right ones, and not trying to be all things to all people.

Justin Stoddart
You know, again, I think there’s oftentimes this scarcity mindset, right, as opposed to the law of scarcity. There’s the scarcity mindset, which oftentimes will, will cause people, right, so to not want to turn down any opportunity, right? Like, like, they don’t want to turn down anything. It’s like, I’m going to, I can’t say no to this person. And and or you have people who, on the other end of the spectrum, maybe it’s more ego driven, as opposed to scarcity, or it’s ego driven of like, I’m only selecting these people to work with what what I hear you say, is kind of more similar, kind of right in the middle. David, where it’s like, you’re it’s not ego driven. Neither is it scarcity driven. But it’s alignment driven. It’s really taking.

David Lykken
Yeah, and the reason maybe the scarcity isn’t the right term and apologize. I’m not sure what’s going on the webcam, but I know it doesn’t seem to be showing up there. So the I’m used to doing audio all the time. So that’s what I do all day. I didn’t show raw folks, I promise. When the the scarcity part is it is alignment. And what I’m trying to communicate right here is that when I’m working with someone, I want to have alignment. The reality is I can only serve so many people and serve them really well. And that is the scarcity part of it. That that creates so when you create that, then all of a sudden, it’s not like I’m pursuing I always said, I learned everything I needed to learn at a high school dance. Every time it seemed like I wanted to go pursue someone, and I want to go dance with them. I chased them away. It’s creating a dynamic Hey, am I good? Are you a good dancer? Am I good for you? That type of thing? It’s, it’s, I’m not sure that’s the best metaphor. My wife thinks that’s a crazy one. But the reality is, it’s just getting good alignment getting and making sure, there’s a good connection cast a wide net. But do you even know most people don’t Justin and this is when I started coaching people and go, what is the right customer for you? It’s a customer that checkbook is ready to buy, I’m ready to buy a home. That’s right for me. And I go, No, that’s not how many, how many people are out there wanting to buy a home and or wanting to get a mortgage. It’s the ones that are right for you. And when we get that it’s really interesting how we drop it’s a law of attraction. So we are attracting those that we have that mindset that are going to be the right ones, and life gets a lot easier and a lot better.

Justin Stoddart
Boy, so well said You’re right. I oftentimes will hear that right. Is it like a customer with a cash customer? That’s that’s my customer. Whereas that’s not really what you’re talking about. You’re really talking about some other form of personality match, right? values match?match. It’s really as that’s a great term, Justin.

David Lykken
It’s it’s a values match. Hey, the webcams back? How about that. So anyway, the values when they’re matched up, and people say, well, but I need more business? Well, it’s amazing when you define what your values are, and you start asking them what theirs are and they start realizing the connection, then you’ll you’ll have a result that is oftentimes a stickier relationship and better result in the end, let me give you an example. I used to go into homes when I was taking mortgage loans, Justin, and I would come through the front door. And I would ask, why are you wanting to purchase this home? or why are you wanting to refinance this home? And I was very, I got right to the point. And I may have started off by saying, I’m not here to be your friend. If we can be friends. That’s great. I want to know why. What is it? What’s the reason for you setting up this meeting? Well, we’re we’re looking to purchase this home, I said why I want to get in and connect with their why. And they go well, we’re expecting a baby are, you know, we have a parent that’s coming in are we’ve done real well, we just want to move up into a bigger home, you know, all the reasons someone’s moving up into a bigger home. So what I lock into that, because what happens is, is I then say, I’m going to qualify you for this mortgage, if I give you when I walk out of here in about 20 minutes, and I give you a thumbs up, you’re gonna get this loan, you can go to the bank on it start getting ready to move, you’ll, we’ll get this accomplished, I created a sense of accomplishment. But I also created a sense of that deep engagement that happened is I’m not here to play around. If I want if I need documentation, or my staff says I need documentation, here’s the deal, I will give you what you want, which is this mortgage, but what you and the journey there, you have to give me what I want. And that is I need this documentation, this documentation. And as we get into your credit file into your profile, we may find there’s things that yeah, that we didn’t know that we need it until we’re once we’re into it, I need to have a commitment from you, I contract from you, that you’ll get me that information immediately.

David Lykken
That’s the kind of alignment. And if I don’t get it immediately, I’m going to say you’re not serious, and we’re not rightly aligned. So there’s a sense of successful people just I love working with successful driven people because they go, you know what, I think we could be friends. But that’s down the road right now. I like the fact that you are all about me getting this home. And it’s not trying to wow me or get to like me, we’ll get that figured out down the road. We’re here to get a job done. I want to be the person to introduce you just introduced you and I as Jessica Peterson. Jessica is like this, she is so laser focused on what is it that you want to achieve is your goal and objective. And, Justin, when you start looking at successful people, it’s those that are laser focused, they cast a big net to draw people in to pick out who you’re going to work with. But then they become laser focused with the right alignment on the right individuals to achieve success.

Justin Stoddart
You know, you’ve identified something, David, and I know we’re we’re about out of time. But you’ve identified the fact that I believe that the value proposition requirement is changing in our industries is that it used to be who do I know who my friends, that’s who I want to support, I think people are realizing that there are there’s a greater need to be more careful and be able to choose somebody who brings real value. And then from that person that brings value, then the friendship comes later. It’s business first friendship later. And and I think a lot of agents that want to work by referral, they end up starting with friendship first, and then business value later. So they end up giving away much of their time for free building friendships when they’re not getting paid to be friends. Now, I’m not saying you shouldn’t be friendly. I’m not saying you shouldn’t always so build great relationship, great friendships from your clients. But don’t confuse the two up front, you’re there to do to help people with something very, very important to them and their family’s financial future. And you can produce that similar great situation for you and your family if you cut to the chase and find out how do I serve people, the highest level and then let’s become friends, should this all work out, right?

David Lykken
If you do a good job, you always have the opportunity to friends, friendship that can come out of it. But we’re all here to do a job, get buy a home, help you finance a home, somehow around homeownership. And really when you think about the big picture, what an exciting thing to be involved in people’s lives. And it is a very serious, and also it’s the biggest transaction for most people ever doing business with. So take it seriously and treat it like the top professional that most of you are

Justin Stoddart
Wonderful clues of success. I’m gonna I want to jump to the signature question of the show, David, before we wrap up, but I know that you have the opportunity to let people know about a coaching offering that you have, right, you have a coaching company, you don’t have unlimited space in there, but you are looking for a few more individuals that fit. What would you describe if somebody is listening to this? And they’re like, man, I think that’s my kind of guy. I think that’s what I’m missing in my life right now. Whether it be one on one coaching or whether it be group coaching? What would this person kind of like, what is your ideal coaching client look like?

David Lykken
Is someone who absolutely has clear goals and objectives. Not that I’m exploring this or I’m thinking about this is that I mean, I could help people sort through that I have a whole team that will do that. But as those that have a clear focus, I want to achieve this. And they have a clear why behind it. When I start with every client if they do not have a clear why I want to achieve it here a clear objective and a clear why and that resonates with me and there’s good alignment on that why it’s it’s gonna be difficult for them to get my attention. So if your interest if you have this clear goal and objective in mind, and you have a clear why, then give me a call, I’d love to talk to you. If you’re sorting through that love to continue. We have a group of people within our team that will help you sort through that. But that’s that’s the key for me is do you have clear objective? And do you ever clear why?

Justin Stoddart
What’s the best way for people to to contact you, David, if they’re listening to this right now? They’re like, Yes, I know what and I know why I just need now help getting there.

David Lykken
Yeah, well, then that’s where we really specialize is the process of actually getting them there. We have a great track record for those that where we have good alignment. Best way to reach me is David@tms-advisors.com. TMS stands for transformational mortgage solutions.

Justin Stoddart
They just put it in the show notes here. I would encourage anybody that if this, if this resonates with you, again, send an email to David, and see if there’s an alignment. David, the signature question of the show is this. You are a big thinker. You’ve proven so across years, and decades, being a top producer of being not only someone who’s successful yourself, but helps other people be successful. What does David Lee can do, to continue to be a big thinker to continue to expand your personal possibilities for you to continue to grow? What does that look like?

David Lykken
You’ve got to keep asking questions. That’s the number one thing I am a podcast junkie, I love going to podcasts and getting information out what’s out there. If I’m looking at investment, I’m going to go find the best investment podcasts out there and the ones that resonate with me. So be constantly hungry to learn, do not quit, I’m turning 71 in August and I am got more fire in my belly for the next 50 years of my life than I had in the first seventy years. It’s because I really believe that I can achieve anything I set my mind to. And the beautiful part about today is there’s so many resources Justin to be able to draw on to achieve those goals and objectives.

Justin Stoddart
What a powerful perspective for anybody that’s at the seventy year mark thinking like yes, it’s wind down season. Listen to David folks where he’s just getting started. He’s just getting started. This is like, like, this second chapter is getting ready to to be unveiled right in front of our eyes. So David, it’s been such a pleasure to spend some time with you learn from you today. And thank you for giving of your time. Again for any that are looking for a coach like David described, then this would be a great opportunity for you to reach out to here. Be sure to check the show notes. It’s there. His email address, reach out to him and my final request of everybody listening here today are these three simple words. You all know what they are. They are GO THINK BIGGER. David, thank you for helping us do that today my friend. Appreciate it.

David Lykken
Thank you for being here. Wish y’all continued success. Justin.

Justin Stoddart
I want to thank you for tuning in to this episode of the thick bigger real estate show. If you found value here, I asked three things number one, give us a review. Number two, go to Facebook and in groups search think bigger real estate and apply to join. Here you will find a community of Big Thinking professionals that will help you grow your income, your independence and your impact. And my third request is GO THINK BIGGER!