The Mindset of a Successful Real Estate Agent

The mindset of a successful real estate agent includes having a growth vs a fixed mindset. It includes being able to ask the tough question of: Am I who I want to be? It then includes taking the next steps to change who you are while holding onto the reason why you’re making those steps so that the steps become fun and invigorating.

All of this insight comes from my conversation with Patrick Vernon Lilly whose accomplishments in real estate include: selling over 1,200 properties worth more than $1.35 billion worth of property in his 34-year career.

This strong sales success has resulted in many national honors, most notably the Keller Williams Pinnacle Award which is presented to just 20 exceptional agents across all North American firms.

Additional distinctions include being named one of The Wall Street Journal’s Top 250 Agents in the nation and Inman’s 101 Most Influential Agents in North America. He was also featured in “The Billion Dollar Agent” by Steve Kantor.

Patrick is the founder of Real Estate Vision (REV), an educational and networking group for top producing agents. Through REV he also hosts an annual conference and a weekly podcast for agents. Patrick is a frequent speaker at conferences and seminars throughout the world.

Justin Stoddart
Welcome back to the Think Bigger Real Estate Show. I’m your host, Justin Stoddart and I’m very excited today to have with me a gentleman named Patrick Lilly. For those who don’t know, Patrick, I want to introduce him here in just a sec. Let me just remind you that inside of the bigger Real Estate Group on Facebook is where you will be able to take your learning and go deep with it. If you’re not yet a member there, go do that. But let me share let me first say, Patrick, thanks for coming on the show. And then I’m going to just gonna, like boast on you for just a minute, so just bear with me. Thank you for being on the show. Thanks.

Justin Stoddart
So, Patrick, you’ve sold over 1200 properties worth more than 1.3 5 billion, you receive Keller Williams, his Pinnacle award, which is given to only 20 agents. You’ve been Wall Street Journal’s top 250 agents in the nation, Edmunds. 101 most influential agents in North America, featured in the billion-dollar agent by Steve cancer.

Justin Stoddart
And you’ve got an amazing coaching company real estate vision. I’m so excited to have you here to talk about mindset to talk about like, what is the mindset of a successful agent slash human being I think I’m just thrilled to get into your brain a little bit after all those accomplishments. After all that experience, to hear how you’ve done what you’ve done, and how it all starts up here. Thank you for being here, by the way. Oh, thank you, Justin, I appreciate it.

Justin Stoddart
So let’s talk about mindset, we’re going to do a kind of a brief kind of fire-round here really quick. For those that are listening, this is going to be a brief episode. So stay with us here. But Patrick, you’ve gotten into your own mind a little bit and now into the minds of many others through your coaching programs. What does the mindset of a successful person not just for people that have quick success, right, kind of a like one-hit wonder, but to have a massive, like a long career of success, as you’ve done? Talk to us about what that mindset looks like?

Patrick Lilly
Well, basically, there are two types of mindsets. There’s a fixed mindset and a growth mindset. And a fixed mindset thinks that whatever traits, abilities, intelligence that you have, that that’s a fixed amount, and it cannot be changed. So if you see yourself as a procrastinator, and you say that you’ll always be a procrastinator, then that’s a fixed mindset. And we all that’s obvious that a fixed mindset is not something that’s going to help us to achieve our goals. And that’s what the vast majority of people have. The question is, is even if you do have a growth mindset, and anybody that’s always trying to become a better version of themselves, has a growth mindset, they still have areas within their lives that are fixed mindsets, and to be able to look at those areas where you’re fixed and shifted to growth is where the power comes from. So let me give you an example. I was going to be doing a,

Patrick Lilly
I was giving a speech to a team. Actually, I was doing a coaching advanced for a team recently, and they wanted me to talk about mindset. That’s why this is top of mind, by the way. And as I was preparing for the two-hour portion of the interactive talk, I realized the things that I was going to say I wasn’t doing myself in certain parts of my life. And it was like as I’m, as I’m writing this and going, Patrick, you know, listen to your own advice and get out of your fixed mindset. So one of the areas that I have a fixed mindset in is about working out, and how

Patrick Lilly
I don’t go in with a good attitude about it, I do it just to get done because I have to get it done. So today, when I worked out with my trainer via zoom, I went in and started saying to myself ahead of time, I’m doing this so I will live a long life and have a vital life for the next 20 years or whatever amount of time. And when I focused on that when I set my mind to the activity, I actually enjoyed today’s workout, it was fun, I was actually a little obnoxious with my trainer.

Patrick Lilly
And I don’t know if he enjoyed it, but I know that I had one of the best workouts I’ve had in a long time. So being able to identify when you have a fixed mindset and to shift into a growth mindset is key.

Patrick Lilly
And then when you’re in the growth mindset, realizing there’s no such thing as failure, there’s no such thing as mistakes because you’re always one of the best teachers in the world is is is not getting it right. And then changing point.

Justin Stoddart
I want to unpack some of that because there’s a lot there that you just described. I think all of us have this sense of I am this way, right? Like you could have put in the press today. Like I am a procrastinator, right? I am somebody who doesn’t like working outright. I am a heavy person. I am a whatever person like all of us, homies I’m not good at math. I’m not good at numbers. Yes, I’m not creative. Yeah, I’m not a detail person, right? I don’t like I’m not a good communicator like all of us. We, whether we say these things out loud, or whether we say them internally to ourselves, which is probably even more damaging.

Justin Stoddart
And creates more of a finality, right? All of these things keep us from where you say we all have the ability to go in every area, which is have an open mindset to say, No, I actually, I’m currently here, but I, I, I’m moving in this direction like I’m, I enjoy this or I’m becoming a detail person, right? I mean, whatever it is that you want to become, is that where it starts, you really just start talking to yourself differently.

Patrick Lilly
Yeah, and I think that’s, you know, we’ve always heard everybody talks about affirmations and how successful affirmations are for you. And that’s all an affirmation is trying to change your fixed mindset to a growth mindset. And you’re not lying to yourself. You’re, you’re describing to yourself who you want to be. So a lot of people like a good affirmation is I love going to the gym. When you don’t love going to the gym. You could say, Oh, your mind yourself? Well, no, what I’m telling myself is who I want to be where I want to be down the road. And that’s not a lie. That’s one of the biggest affirmations you can give yourself.

Justin Stoddart
Yeah, you get to decide I like that thought is that you’re the author of your own story. Someone else did write it for you. And you get to just be an inanimate object, living out what they wrote, no, you have the pen, you’re the author. If you don’t like a certain part about it, it’s not going to be an overnight fix, you’re not going to, like go from being unhealthy to healthy overnight. But guess what? It was several chapters, right? You’re writing the chapter, start the chapter differently, right? I love that. So empowering.

Patrick Lilly
And take little steps, don’t go right from I enjoy working out too. I’m going to be running a marathon this month, you need to take little steps that you can achieve, then you need to watch your progress, and not only celebrate your progress, but to be grateful that you have the ability to change yourself. So all of those elements add up towards that you can be in a growth mindset. And I’m always amazed. I’m always like, my boyfriend. He says he’s a procrastinator, and, and that he doesn’t even then he can’t change it.

Patrick Lilly
And you know, if you haven’t, for those of us who know me, I get a hammer and I keep on hammering him until I break through somebody. And he’s starting to change on that. Maybe I’m not procrastinating anymore. Maybe that’s what I’m just telling myself.

Justin Stoddart
It’s working is starting to believe it. Yeah, yeah, it’s taking a while.

Patrick Lilly
But it’s working? Yes.

Justin Stoddart
Well, I think that’s where everybody that’s listening to this today, right? He did this as kind of a clarion call to everybody is that you can change. And it’s like Patrick said, it’s not going to be an overnight thing. But if you want to go on to build a successful business and a significant life, right, which is the essence of this show, and why it exists, and why I’m passionate about it, because it aligns with who I am in the belief that there’s untapped potential inside of each and every one of us, and that we all need to wake up to the fact that we can become more impactful in this world.

Justin Stoddart
That what Patrick just spoke, there are some very, very powerful truths. Very powerful.

Patrick Lilly
Yeah, I think one of the most, the greatest questions you can ask yourself daily, is, who do I want to be? Or is this the person that I want to be? So when I get bent out of shape, and I’m not the best version of Patrick, because somebody is pushing my buttons? One of the questions when I’m, when I’m reacting that way, I’m being very reactive, as I like to say, Patrick, is this the person you really want to be? And the answer to that is almost always No. Sometimes it’s yes, sometimes I just like, I want to F-you and stable, and I don’t want to grow times I do.

Patrick Lilly
And if I do, then that enables me to say, you know, to step back a step and say, How can I deal with this differently? What do I need to do? What do I need to believe about myself? What do I need to own? And by asking those questions, I can then get into that growth mindset. So I can get my mind in the right place.

Patrick Lilly
Because it’s almost I don’t know, I think just about everything’s about your mind. I mean, certainly, their skill sets and there’s, there are physical abilities, and there’s your level of intelligence and intuition, but mindset trumps everything.

Justin Stoddart
Yeah, it does right at all. It’s it starts everything and ends everything. You identified another really interesting point when you were talking about this example of you going to the gym, and not loving the experience on most days. But you said something you said, Now I do love it. And here’s why. Right. And I want to tap into that just a little bit because you said because I’m going to live a healthy life for the next 20 years. Right? How much does that play into it?

Justin Stoddart
Once people come to this realization of like, they ask the tough question to themselves to say, am I who I want to be right now? Whether it be physically, whether it be spiritually, whether it be relationally, whether it be career-wise, whether it be financially, am I who I want to be right now, if the answer’s no, not yet, then you said start to take some baby steps towards that. And it sounds like part of that process, what we’re learning from you, is this, this process of saying, and, and why, right? Because I think that’s, that’s what’s going to be critical to actually give you the motivation to do it, is it, No, I like, if I don’t love going to the gym, I won’t say what I like. And I’m going to tell myself, I love going to the gym, there better be a reason why behind it, because it’s not going to be an immediate like transformation be like, Oh, yeah, this is awesome.

Patrick Lilly
You need to associate the activity with your goal. And if you haven’t truly identified the goal, then you’re not going to be able to associate the activity with it. So let me give you an example. In the past when I was younger, and I used to go to the gym or workout, I didn’t like it then either, but it was about looks and getting laid. And, you know, being a marketable commodity in that respect. And honestly, that never really touched my soul. That never was really a good reason. For me, it was a very superficial reason.

Patrick Lilly
And then I’d say about, I don’t know, seven years ago, I was trying, I was going to get a Lexus sedan, and that’s not a small car. And I had trouble getting into it one day, and I thought, I thought this is messed up. This is what my life is going to be like now. That’s not what I want. Some changes have to be made.

Patrick Lilly
So now when I associate working out when I’m really good at it, it’s associated with, I want to live a vital life, I want to be flexible and strong. And I want to have good cardio, and I want to be able to be as vital as I am now. 10-15-20 years from now, that’s really important to me.

Patrick Lilly
And now when I associate the activity when I’m struggling because he’s got too much weight when I’m doing a squat. It’s like, no, this is making me strong, this is making me vital, this is going to make me live long, then all of a sudden, my crappy attitude goes away. And it’s like, oh, that’s why I’m doing this.

Patrick Lilly
So the same thing could be happening like, like, if you really thought that making cold calls was really important for your business. I’m not saying it is but if you did, you if you could change your attitude about associated with it. These are the goals that I have for my family, for my financial well-being, this is why I’m making these calls, whether they’re warm or cold. And this is why I’m doing it, you’re going to have a better attitude about making that call than if you’re just doing it because you’ve been told you should do it or you or you think you should do it.

Justin Stoddart
It’s so powerful stuff, Patrick, you’ve not only given us this, this kind of deep probing question that we need to ask ourselves, it is, who I am, who I actually want to be and the realization that we can change it. But that now you’ve given us some very kind of tactical tools to not just take the next steps, but also have a motivation behind it. Right. So there’s a real purpose behind it. Not superficial, but you know, deeply purposeful, great stuff.

Justin Stoddart
I want to ask you this final question. We promised listeners it would be brief, I hope we get this opportunity again. But the final question of this show at asked every guest that comes on is you are a big thinker, Patrick, and I’m privileged to have you here on the show today. What does somebody like you do to continue to be a big thinker to continue to expand your possibilities? What does it look like for you?

Patrick Lilly
asked that question. Okay, I’ll tell you what’s popping up right away. One of the things that I’m learning is more effective. So so many successful people do, they’ve got a million different things going on. They love being busy. They love that distraction, they did get bored by not being doing a million different things.

Patrick Lilly
The problem with that is that it doesn’t allow any open space for inspiration to come in. Whether the inspiration is from God or the universe or your highest self. But when I find that I leave time that’s open. I can allow whatever messages need to come in about where my soul wants to go down the road.

Patrick Lilly
And by I mean, your greatest teacher is that small voice that can come in and lead you where God or the universe or your higher self, whatever term you like to use, wants to lead you instead of thinking, Oh, I need to lead myself all the time.

Justin Stoddart
But that’s powerful Patrick. It is interesting how the creative inspiration forces, right, whatever they are for you. You’re right. They, they, they have to come in, like when we’re quiet almost, and whether space to, to have them.

Justin Stoddart
I think you’ve just taught us a very profound lesson about the importance of not just being busy for busy sake and packing our schedule because it makes us feel good, but actually, block out some time to sit and think and ponder. And I think one of the things that will show up in that, in that conversation interview with yourself or your Maker or you know, whatever you believe that you’ll probably start to identify like, Am I like, Am I who I want to be? If this were to be my last day on earth, would I be happy with who I’ve become?

Justin Stoddart
If not great, I’m still here, I got a chance to move more in that direction. That would make me happy.

Justin Stoddart
Great stuff, Patrick. I’m, again, so grateful for your time to come on, and treat us really with some amazing mindset, insight. And I look forward to continuing our, our collaboration. And it’s been really fun to get to know you. So thank you so much.

Justin Stoddart
And I want to remind everybody listening here today, from the amazing insight from somebody who’s produced it just the highest levels.

Justin Stoddart
We want to remind you all and give you this final charge, which is to go think bigger. Thank you, Patrick, I appreciate you, my friend.

Patrick Lilly
Thank you, Justin.