Strengthen Your Marriage | Amir Fathizedah

FULL AUDIO TRANSCRIPTION:

Justin Stoddart 0:00
You know, during key changes in economic time, you oftentimes see a record number of divorces. Unfortunately, today’s episode is going to help us to fortify that relationship which is most important above all else, so that it becomes a rock. And not something that you lose during these changing economic times. And I have with me a very special guest, whose forte is in helping people to strengthen their marriage. I’m thrilled to have him here today. This is an episode you’re not going to want to miss. The big question is this. How do we those of us in the real estate industry with crazy amounts of ambition? How do we think bigger than the building of our own empires? How do we simultaneously seek success and significance, income and impact? My name is Justin Stoddart. And this is the Think bigger real estate show. Again, welcome back to the Think bigger real estate show. thrilled to have you here. Today’s guest is has become a very dear friend of mine. I’ll introduce him now. His name is Amir Fauci, Sada Amir, such a pleasure to have you here, my friend,

Amir Fathizadeh 1:09
it’s good to see you, my friend. Thanks for having me.

Justin Stoddart 1:11
Of course. I’m excited to get into this topic, but I need to give our guests or I should say our our audience a better idea of your background. So I know you, Amir have been a transformational leader for over 20 years, I’ve been able to hear some of your teachings and the ways in the ways in which you’ve impacted other people. And it’s it’s not insignificant what you’ve done. I know you’re also a speaker and the author of the book gossip, the road to ruin, I’ve read the book, it’s a fantastic book for anybody wanting to improve their company or even organizational culture. You’re an executive coach, a leadership coach, a relationship and couples coach, and excited to have you come in and share with us really, why some unfortunate things happen during the challenging time. So looking back the year 2007 2008. Right, the Great Recession is happening. Really, the markets are crumbling, you think at that time, that home life would become such a rock and such a center when people’s professional lives were crumbling all around them, unfortunately, add insult to injury at the same time that those professional things were crumbling, they’re homeless life was also crumbling, we want to get into that. Also, during the pandemic, I’ve got a number of coaching clients who suggest that I’ve never seen so many divorces, that during this time, I’m selling so many homes of people who were once married, happily married, and now they’re not. So really, Amira really brought you on here today. Because the mission of this show that think that your real estate show is not just to teach about building a successful business, it’s that and doing it while creating a significant life. And if anybody is married or has aspirations to be married, realize that that one relationship is so critical to having a significant life. And very, very excited to have you here. So let’s just get right into this, Amir and talk about why during challenging economic times. Does the one relationship that we probably need to be strong the most Why is it oftentimes exposed and and failing?

Amir Fathizadeh 3:19
Yes, absolutely. Justin. One of the things that happens when when couples face challenging time is merely due to stress. And stress can be divided in several different sections. But let’s look at this for a moment during the pandemic in the last three years and this year, is actually is a little bit better, but not a whole lot. There has been 95% increase in divorces in Britain, in the United States has been about 34%. So is in China with China with all the no restricts and situation they had they dealt with pandemic is the same and so is in Sweden. So what happens when a situation of this nature occurs in the society? At first people feel oh great. I get to work from home I get to spend more quality times with a family and my spouse. But after a while, as situation in the society with pandemic gets, you know, becomes wars that starts to create a certain kind of stress, such as the couples have started to argue or have disagreement about the social distancing, or getting together with friends or, you know, if one of them becomes ill with, you know, virus, then they start, you know, sleeping in the separate rooms, they start to have disagreement how to go about it? What do we do with the kids? You know, vaccinations? Should the kids be homeschooled, or should they go to school, I mean, there is whole bunch of new conversations comes up. And especially if the couples don’t have that strong bond of communication with each other, they start to create distance. And this distance slowly gets bigger. And at some point, they say to themselves, this marriage is now working. And, you know, they, then they become in a situation, that is unfortunate. And the easy route that they see is, well, this, this, you know, this relationship is over, let’s get divorced, and let’s move on with you know, something else. It is, you know, nothing really has changed as far as people getting divorce, because people ultimately want to be happy. And when they find in the house situation, household situation, things are not working the way they want to, they, you know, they become unhappy, and boom, they, you know, they start to look at a different route out. But the situation with a pandemic, because it forces people to be together all the time, that increase based on what you just said, that extra stress, especially, you know, people who have, you know, children, and for the most part, if they’re both working from home, majority of the work happens on, you know, women, shoulder. And it’s unfortunate to say that 70% of the divorces are initiated by women, compared to 60%, you know, last year, and a year, you know, before. So you know, that if you look at all these different kinds of stress that is ready to pandemic, and, you know, the virus is, you know, that just just builds up and loss of couples do not know how to, you know, how to work around it,

Justin Stoddart 8:06
when I think it’s really interesting principles, because as I mentioned, this same thing happened in 2008. And the common thread that I see is that you have new stressors, you have new challenges and new situations, and the couple are not communicating on how they’re going to work through that together. And the, obviously, the the pandemic was much more thing in 2020, than it is now. But we’re now entering and entering into an economic recession. You know, the audience that I serve, is the real estate industry. And we are seeing a quick slowdown, when it comes to the real estate industry, I would say more of a back to a normal market, as opposed to, you know, a depressed market. But nevertheless, it’s different. It’s different than it has been in previous years. And these same underlying stressors, or rather different stressors. But now similar circumstances where a couple is either faced with having to potentially deal with a spouse working different hours, potentially longer hours, potentially having delayed income coming into the house, because homes are taking longer to sell, again, new circumstances that are that are new added stressors into a family. And we have the potential to have what otherwise could be amazing marital relationships that will unfortunately suffer and die because they can’t overcome these new challenges. So part of why I wanted to bring this to this audience is because those that know me know that family is my highest priority in life. And again, I believe strongly that there is no work that is greater than the work that we’ll do within the walls of our own home. And that that becomes a microcosm for what we go do out in the world that if we can create very success and significance inside the home, it gets easier to go do it outside of the home. Whereas if our relationships at home are stress, and somewhat defunct, that acts as an anchor to our progress professionally. And I think anybody that’s been through a divorce will realize that it can be very debilitating, very challenging, emotionally, financially and many other ways. And so my aim here is to give all of us principles through our different Emir here as to what we can do to now overcome these maybe new stressors that are showing up that again, kind of reared in a maybe different light during the pandemic, but are now here as a result of an of an economic recession, increased inflation, etc. So want to get into this now, Amir, what are some things that couples can and should be doing in order to strengthen their marriage?

Amir Fathizadeh 10:53
That’s, that’s a great question, Justin. So, when couples do not have proper communication, it is like a pressure cooker. If a personal cooker does not have a way to release, the pressure, at some point will explode. So if you look at a relationship in a relationship, if there is not proper communication, and it will, you know, get to a point that will explode, and the couples don’t know what to do about it. So the first thing that is really important is being able to identify the problem. What is the challenge here? is really the economy? Is it really the pandemic? Is it, you know, the money? Is it the kids, what is it that actually is causing this conflict, and with that comes the the way to communicate, lots of people feel that we can communicate, you know, Tonkin is a form of communication, by actually talking about something and doing, you know, the proper way of talking is the key. So, if the couples all communicate with each other, the first step is to be able to bring a new level of empathy in the conversation. So, what does that mean? If, you know, if I have a situation going on an argument, disagreement, what have you with my espouse the first thing to do to be able to put my view, let’s say about, you know, masks or social, you know, gathering or what have you put my view side, and be able to put myself in a spouse’s shoes, to really see if I can understand where they’re coming from, and how they are feeling. So then, you know, that will arise a new level of intact empathy and compassion, that perhaps can start a new level of communication, rather than I want to prove my point, you want to prove, you know, your point, and usually those kinds of conversation, go nowhere. So that by doing that level of, you know, bringing out that level of empathy requires really deep listening. We know we have to be realistic, we human beings do not listen, we do not listen to what’s been said. More often than enough, we listen to what we want to hear, especially when it comes to couples who have lived together for a long time or have known each other. It’s that, you know, listening creates different kinds of filters based on the conversation and the past experiences. Therefore, when we able to actually get present, and listen to what that spouse what the partner is saying. It creates a new level of communication, okay, I can I can, I can understand that I can put my view aside. Let’s have a logical conversation, not an emotional conversation about it. And that’s what happens when people become emotional and become defensive. What they want to do is protect their viewpoint, and usually those kinds of conversations. Go No, usually In life in a relationship, three things, causes issues. If two of the three are working, the third one usually can be worked out. If two of the three are not working, it takes a much harder work together done. And those three words are. One is communication, proper communication, and not just talking to is finances, you know, a money situation between couples. And third one is sex. And you know, that, you know, the third one might not be as, as important as people get older, that definitely is an important factor in the, you know, younger people.

Amir Fathizadeh 15:53
So, my advice to people who are listening to this podcast is, first of all identify, to really get to the source of why is it I’m having an issue with my partner? Where is it initiating forum? And second, let me see if I can take responsibility. For my view, Ha, I’m looking at this and take the, you know, initial step to say, Okay, I want to listen to what you have to say, I want to I’m really committed to make this marriage work this relationship work. Let’s see if we can look at deposit what I agree with you, not what I disagree with you. And that’s what happens. Most people focus on what they disagree about. Not that what they actually agree about. So there’s lots of different approach to go about this. But I found this, you know, being able really to get to the bottom. And so a new level of communication, that can actually transform the relationship.

Justin Stoddart 17:17
I think a couple of things stand out to me here, Amir is that it really does come down to communication and not just communicating. But having empathetic communication is what really stood out to me about what you’ve said, of actually wanting to be married to your spouse more than you want to be married to your own idea. Sometimes our ego gets in the way of us having genuine connection and empathy for other people. And what I hear you saying is that we need to listen not to check it off the box that yeah, I’m listening I heard you, as maybe can be the tone at times, we get impatient because they’re not agreeing with us. But instead of like genuine curiosity, like, tell me how you’re feeling. Now tell me why you’re feeling that way. Like those, those kinds of conversations. I would say, for me personally, in my marriage have taken time for us to develop to really for us to put our guard down, I’m not attacking you. I’m just very, I’m very interested in kind of where you’re coming from, right. And I know my wife and I, just this past weekend, we spent a night over at the Oregon coast, then you’re familiar with that Emir. And it was an awesome experience, we’re together, we’re raising six children, right, six kids of our own. So there’s a lot of work that goes upon my wife and upon me, but just like you said before, she carries much of the weight of that, as I’m focused on working, building a business. She’s really focused on the day to day being the CEO of the household. And it was interesting to me that of all the things that she wanted, she just wanted some one on some one on one time with me. She wanted you know, two hours drive to the coast two hour drive back, a long walk on the beach, and it’s like nothing too crazy. She just wanted to be heard. She just wanted to have some some some time where she wasn’t always answering to the requests of small children, but was being heard and listened to. So everything you’re saying here is is very much resonating with me from just this past weekend’s experience. So I love what you’re saying here this empathetic communication is, is it sounds easy, it can be hard if you don’t practice if you don’t actually have a genuine curiosity and desire to want to hear them. So I love that I love that. What are some other things that people can do to strengthen their marriage Amir

Amir Fathizadeh 19:30
so being able to create as you just mentioned, you know, get away with her for a night. I mean, this is really a key being able to create time to spend quality time together. You know, getting out to go in places, or just have a romantic dinner just the two of you. If you have kids, you know haven’t be with the grandparents have I’m the babysitter or just you know, Be creative, to create those kinds of opportunities that the two of you really can talk and discuss, you know, without being, you know, bothered or, you know, interfered with. And I think that would start to create that kind of level of communication that we’ve been talking about. And it is important, it’s the most people, when they get away, and they want to spend quality time, they still have a hard time actually communicating, it is good to spend, you know, time together being together, maybe, you know, perhaps watch some quality shows, or what have you, that being able to speak to each other in a very new way, when as a new way, meaning a respectful way, being able to recognize your partner, respect your partner, especially their point of view, care, you know, the caring is early on. So I know, the male might be working all day. And might be tired. Criticism, imagine the women that spent all day taking care of the family taking the house in order, perhaps preparing meals and all of that, I promise you some some of you know, sometimes, most of us when we take Oh, we do in too much. If we start to put ourselves in other person’s shoes, we might actually recognize that they are the one way more than, you know what we do, and perhaps they carry much more stress. So you know, having that and being able to create a, let’s say, date night, or whatever you want to call it, or just simple having an you know, nice, quality dinner together. I’m talking about things talking about without, you know, disagreeing, talk about it in a respectful Well, in a loving way. Sure, factions come home with some kind of recognitions once in a while to really appreciate, you know, your partner, he can be a very small present, it can be a note, it can be some flowers, you know, anything that they’re really recognizes that acknowledges your partner for who she or he is, or who or she is not. I think it can take the relationship completely to a to a new way. Because then there was sort of fear, oh, I’m not alone. In this relationship, I have a partner. And I am glad. And I’m happy to be with this partner.

Justin Stoddart 23:00
I love that. I think it’s interesting, what you’re saying here. In my mind, I am reflecting upon some of the coaching that I give some of my private clients. So in my my book, The upstream model, for those that haven’t read it, I teach real estate agents specifically, although it applies to other professionals as well, how to grow and scale a warm market business through strategic partnerships. In other words, individuals, other professionals, who can send you a lot of referrals in a hurry. And I think about my advice to them is to find a way to be valuable in that professionals business every week. And when you think about how much more a marital relationship is even over a strategic business partner, or business referral partner, how much more valuable than marriages? Are we making time to do this practice? You’re describing a mirror every week? Right? If we knew that, that that business relationship had the ability to make us hundreds of 1000s of dollars every year, we would prioritize that. And my question to you is not from not just a financial standpoint, although one could make that argument as well as the cost of divorce, but from a pure, altruistic love for that other person making them your queen or your king depending on who they are. Are we making time are we making that a priority? Are we actually committing to a certain night of the week or a certain day of the month in which we’re actually going out of town or maybe the the court or whatever it is for you, and actually making that person a priority and setting our ego aside and giving gratitude that should be happening every day by the way, but really giving taking time to let them know how much they’re appreciated through our attention and our time it’s it’s a beautiful principles that you’re you’re teaching us and how to go about communicating. What do you feel like a mirror if you found a good kind of cadence of whether it be these couple calm For stations, you know, where a couple is having these authentic conversations. As far as date nights as far as as far as trips and vacations, is there some something that you found to be kind of a good? A good, simple formula for people to look to?

Amir Fathizadeh 25:16
Yeah, absolutely. And I actually, I have a tons of question, you know, questions that couples can use to initiate conversation, especially, you know, talking about some of the, you know, could be members of families in the past, it could be the interest that each partner might have that they like to explore Waggoner, where do you see our relationship 10 years from now? Honey, what do you think? Where will it be five years from now, you know, what our life will look like how our relationship be five years from now, 10 years from now, you see, when people start to train their brain to be creative, in generating, you know, the ideas, and keep, you know, continue keeping the relationship new and fresh, is more and more enjoyable. Because most people after you know, after they’ve been married, or after they’ve been with partner for a certain period of time, they feel oh, is not the same. I wonder what happened, that you know, it, you know, the start going that direction, and after a while they see, you know, a distance is doing doesn’t seem to be like a use of it. So being able to generate new ideas. And by looking at to the future, and then working backward, okay, what is my relationship will look like three years from now? Well, my relationship will look like three months from now, one person will look like a month from now, hey, what’s my relationship looks like tomorrow, what can I do, on my part, that I can make this relationship really excited, the moment that I go home, or the moment I see my spouse, and asarco in Iraq with her or him, what do you know what is going to come out of my mouth, that is going to be different, they actually might inspire them in my motivation, wow, this is a wonderful, I love being around again. And I love to be, you know, around you, and being with you. So when you start to having that kind of, you know, a level of communication affection, is starts to just, you know, the relationship is also have a new future. And, and as you practice it more and more, it becomes more and more creative. And therefore, you know, and it will be great to surprise each other with different things. You know, I remember my wife, and you know, when it really surprised me by coming home, and she has created a whole house like, you know, tropical, and tropical brings me to beautiful the restaurant and all of that, that’s created, you know, anything that just really motivates, acknowledge and appreciate your partner is an idea, and there is no wrong or right way of doing it.

Justin Stoddart 28:48
And very interesting to think about the effort that we put into things when I hear the story of your wife, right, who’s really went to, to a lot of effort to surprise you to create something unique. I think about what you’re teaching us here when it comes to having a very rich, personal relationship. And it reminds me of I mean, very similar principles, again, when you’re developing key business relationships. And oftentimes we’re it’s easier for us to get creative in the business world, because there’s a there’s $1 and cents attached to it. Right. And sometimes we tend to take for granted the relationships that are that are at home, and we think that they’ll always be there that that they’ll always be fine and good. And we may look back like you said and realize that it actually wasn’t and and now we have an issue. And I’m reminded of a simple framework that I teach in the in you know, when it comes to building these consultative, strategic partnerships. It’s a three part framework. It’s number one, we identify the goal. Number two, identify what’s the plan and number three, What needs do we have to make that plan work? towards getting us to the goal. And I hear you describing that to some degree, right as you identify, what is the goal? What’s the vision that we’re working towards together? What are we creating together? And what’s our plan? How are we going to get there, and then What needs do we have to assess. So it’s really interesting how these human relationships, whether they be personal or business, there’s a lot of very similar principles at the core of how we show up in an intentional way, in a big way that it that makes people drawn to us and want to keep us in their world, right, whether it be a personal marital, or whether it be a strategic, you know, referral partner. I love it, it’s, it’s great. When it comes to finances, I’d love to spend all the time on that. Because people right now we’re having to be very intentional, very intentional and very effortful in order to keep their income, where it has been in previous years. Now, although the income coming in maybe the same, the outgoing, maybe more because of inflation, right, we’re experiencing record level inflation to where there’s more of a pinch on people’s households, give us some some ideas of what can go wrong, and maybe how to avoid that when it comes to the financial conversation of financial peace in a marriage.

Amir Fathizadeh 31:18
Sure, you know, the main problem of the mediocre in, you know, all our finances is perhaps overspending, and not having enough budget for certain things. So, the old, one partner might be making more than the other partner or, you know, it could be all kinds of disagreement about how the finances should be spent, therefore, creating structure and creating a budget for everything, you know, determining exactly what the you know, the cost of living in the house is from, you know, all the utility bills who house payment or what have you, and then what budget, you know, you’re gonna have for everything that you’re gonna do, if you have children, you know, create budgets, for the, you know, for the expenses for the children, and if you have, you have, you know, data, it’s no create a budget for the, you know, data is, if you school in simple schooling, entertainment. So when you create that budget, the key is to have discipline, to stay with it. And lots of people don’t have that kind of discipline, therefore, they overspend and they go out of budget, and, you know, by end of the month, they create conflicts, it creates arguments between the couples, therefore, given each other, give each other your word, that, that you can hold each other accountable. So I’ll hold you accountable, you hold me accountable, that we are going to stay with this budget. And, you know, and we are not going to, you know, exceed it. Therefore, when there’s agreements and inside the agreements or structures, then I think the relationship can work really well. Especially about honor their agreement and and the same with it. So that you know, that that is probably one of the best advices that I have given and is very successful, when actually couples start to follow that, that structure and you know, and they said, you know, they can sit down logically work it out. And another part of this is being able to save for the future. So, you know, you know, the fullest children’s, you know, future education and the you know, the couples when the children are gone and when perhaps a they retired and what have you so, when I you know mentioned starting to create that 10 year vision, you know, your soul to create that you know, long term about finances as well. You know, what is life is not look mark, after all the children are gone, and we are, I don’t know, 60 years old, 65 years old, well, you know, what are we going to have? What do we where do we want to leave? You know, what kind of life do we want to have? So it’s really important to be able to create that kind of structure and, and budget and be able to save for the future.

Justin Stoddart 34:43
I love that Amir, because the term budget oftentimes makes many people’s skin crawl, they’re not good at it. And what I heard you just describe is that if you can attach the budget, which is kind of the tactical stuff we’ve got to do now to a bigger vision of hey, let’s So let’s stay within this budget so that we can, all of a sudden, it gets a lot more exciting. And especially when both both sides of the couple are committed to that thing. I believe you’ve, you’ve given us a secret there to really make that a lot more fun. And typically, when things are more fun, they’re more likely to get done, right. If every time we say, Oh, hey, let’s, let’s let’s review our, our budget so that we can see if we’re on track to buying that vacation home here, or having this retirement over here, right, when we can tie it to that I feel. For me, personally, that’d be a lot more exciting than just comparing spreadsheets versus, you know, budgeted versus actuals can get pretty boring. But when you can, you can tie it to something bigger than that. And I love that it’s probably true of everything mundane in life, if you can say, hey, this isn’t necessarily the most fun thing. But we’re doing this so that we can do the fun thing. All of a sudden, the not so fun thing becomes more fun, at least. Anyway, now, one thing I want to do before we go any further, Amir is I want to tell people about something really cool that you’re doing. That is a retreat. In fact, there’s a couple of things here that I want to tell people about is that at Amir’s website, there’s a free ebook about strengthening your marriage. So I’m going to put this in the show notes. You’ll have it here. For those that are watching live. If you’re watching the podcast, be sure to go to my website, think bigger r e.com. Click on podcast. And you’ll see a Mears episode there. And this link will be there waiting for you. But you’ll not only have access to that ebook, but you’ll also see a couple’s retreat that he’s doing in Mexico, April 15, through the 22nd 22nd happens to be my anniversary, Amir, so you’ve got my wheels turning here in the year 2023. So if you’re watching this after the fact, then it might be you might have missed that, but I’m sure Amir will have planned another one. But again, Mexico, Couples Retreat April 15, through the 22nd, the year 2023. I’m going to put that, again, in the show notes. This, this link will get you to both the ebook as well as as Couples Retreat. And at this Couples Retreat, talk to us a little bit about what what people will experience some here.

Amir Fathizadeh 37:20
Before I talk about that, just a couple more things about their finances, couples don’t have to have a huge, you know, budget for having a good time. Or, you know, they don’t necessarily have to buy a big thing for each other to surprise each other, they don’t have to go to a fancy restaurant to have quality data, they can create that romance in the house in the right setting, they can even leave little notes, acknowledging appreciating loving their partner, then rather than buying you know, certain presents, so having said that retreat, I when I talked about the retreat, I get excited, because it is in a beautiful, you know, environment at a beautiful resort, this is called the all exclusive resort, which means it only has rooms for 10 couples, so myself and my wife will be one. So nine couples. So this retreat is really consists of 18 people plus the two of us. So it will be very highlight said very unique in a way that is going to be presented. Because there’s going to be a forehead four and a half days of quality workshop. And this workshop is granted to alter anyone’s relationship or relationship that might not be working or my novel working as well as they would like it to or perhaps they just want to take their relationship to a new level did all the meetings will be set you know set up on the 10th aside right by the water is going to just be and the quality of the material that I am presenting also is going to be very unique for the retreat. I actually like to call it more like a workshop. So there’ll be a lot of great conversation and tools that I’ll be given to the couples to how from you know how to communicate with each other to how to go about really creating romance in a relationship and making relationship exciting. This trade also is catered by some the quality chefs, so all the food will be catered To the person’s diet, from vegan to vegetarian to gluten free, you name whatever that your dietary is, it you know, it will, it will, it will provide that. So it’s going to be a beautiful time. And the last couple of days, the couples are on their own to do whatever they please to them, when they come back, they actually feel not they just have transformed the relationship that they have also had a vacation, and will be, my promise is that it will be memorable for the rest of their lives. So this is

Justin Stoddart 40:42
I love it. You’ve given us some some amazing insight here. I’m here this episode is gone longer than typical. But I think it’s for good reason this is of extreme high importance and priority that again, a marriage that is crumbling, can will act as an anchor to every other area of life that you are wanting to experience growth. On the contrary, a marriage that is deeply intentional on fire has the ability to fortify you against outside headwinds. And really give you a foundation on which you can, you can do incredible things and experience incredible growth in every in every other area of your life, I just encourage you that if you regardless of where your marriage is at whether it’s on fire right now, or whether it’s like on fire in a good way, like it’s good, or it’s crumbling, I believe it’s worth, it’s worth attending to. And it’s worth pouring value and intention and effort into. And when you do that out of a sincere desire to serve the other person, amazing things can happen I can, I can say that, that I am such a better man. And such a better version of me because of my marriage because of who my wife helps me to become that this this episode was was very important to me and Amir urid. Again, a very dear friend of mine, I’m grateful to all the value that you bring into your specific space in the world in general. So thank you for being such a great mentor to many. Let me ask you this final question, Amir, which is this you are a big thinker, you are somebody who is constantly stretching your own possibilities. What is it that Amir does to continue to grow your possibilities, to continue to expand your thinking to be a bigger thinker, what does that look like for you?

Amir Fathizadeh 42:35
What you know, what makes me really have that level of thinking and habit spiritual in my life is when I started to make my life by adults, everything that I do, including including my wife, every little thing that I do, and you know, being able to keep that word of the I A, B, or C, out of the vocabulary, that I get my word that this is going to be tourists on my life. So keep reminding ourselves, if I am responsible for everything that I do, and everything that happens around me. I don’t go around blaming, there is no reason to blame someone else for what is happening in anything that is happening in life, including in the in the relationship. So being able to take the steps, make a difference on you know, whenever possible, that that is really that’s, you know, what inspires me and that is why it came out with this retreat. And I think you know, I just wanted to be really a contribution, that people can really look and say, hey, I can make this relationship work. I can, you know, create a beautiful marriage with this, get that word out of our vocabulary. And let’s be an inspiration for each other. This is this one says Hi, tried to live my life

Justin Stoddart 44:18
and love it Amir I think at the core of any failed relationship or failed anything, it’s typically begins with a lack of personal responsibility. And at the center of all things that are working typically as somebody who’s taken responsibility and admitted the fact that their actions have a direct impact upon the way things are turning out. And that when people do that both in marriage as well as in business and everything else, it’s it becomes a real accelerant for growth. So thank you for remember for reminding us of that. Such a pleasure to have you on here. What a thank you so much for coming on and pouring into us. And my final request of everybody listening here today are these three simple words and they are go think bigger. And we are thanks for having us do that today my friend. If you enjoyed This episode that I have a very special invitation for you. I have created a private Facebook community called successful real estate agents where the focus is going beyond success having both a successful business and a significant life. If you’re not yet a member, go sign up now.