Being Fearless | Salena Griffith

FULL AUDIO TRANSCRIPTION: 

Justin Stoddart 0:00
On today’s episode, we dig deep into what you’re missing out on in business in life by not being fearless enough and stay tuned for a very special announcement Welcome back to the Think bigger real estate Show. I’m your host Justin Stoddard thrilled today to have with me a friend and absolute superstar in business and in life. Selena Griffith, thank you for coming on the show today.

Salena Griffith 0:35
Thank you for having me. I’m super excited. I will say this is my very first podcast.

Justin Stoddart 0:40
Boom. Ladies and gentlemen, you saw it right here. This is the the first of many, I have a feeling. So for those that don’t know Selena, let’s give a little background. 18 year real estate industry veteran, very, very much in leadership roles kind of wherever you go. Her background again. Additionally, she was Mrs. Oregon 2020. So happily married, beautiful child families, Uber important to her, they have a beautiful farm like so it’s like so many cool aspects about your salon. I just love it. And I really have a heart for teaching people to be more confident to be fearless. So anything I missed in there, I know there’s there’s again, lots of amazing things about you. But maybe that kind of give like, at least the audience a bit of a snapshot of who we’re talking to today.

Salena Griffith 1:29
That’s a good snapshot. Yeah, that’s a that’s a pretty broad range. They see beauty queen and they see farm girl and they kind of go What is this woman?

Justin Stoddart 1:38
How do those two go together? Right? Right? Because we’ve actually had this conversation before, right? There’s people who think that like beauty queens, they must like just walk around their house and like these gowns, right? They just, they’re always like kind of pricy. And meanwhile, like you get it like a pool of saline. And she’s out there like before the episode today, scooping poop, right, like out like doing my lifelong work.

Salena Griffith 2:01
You know, injured animals. And yeah, I like to I like to rescue animals. So they’re, they’re also difficult animals to take care of.

Justin Stoddart 2:12
Oh, I love it so much fun. We’re gonna have a lot of fun today. And I have a feeling that this is going to be an ongoing series, where you’re gonna give us more insights into not only this topic just about like the farm life like. Alright, so let’s dig in. Today’s topic is all about being fearless. Right? What I want to talk about firstly, is what we right, as individuals are missing out on by not being fearless. And I’ll start with this. And this is something that really has brought you and I together in this professional world is this belief that the greatest untapped natural resource in the world is not oil, gold diamonds, right? That’s what everybody talks about. The biggest untapped natural resource in the world is human potential. Each and every one of us are sitting on massive, untapped deposits, right of these have so much potential that we don’t even realize it. And oftentimes that sits under a like a thin or sometimes thick crust of lack of confidence. And today, we’re going fracking ladies and gentlemen, you love this analogy. This has really been fun. Yeah, we’re gonna frack right through that stuff. And we’re gonna help you the audience, uncover how to get access to that potential. Because, again, so much of it is just simply because you’re not fearless enough. And Selena has a history of being fearless. So let’s do this. What what do you see Selena? When you look out into the real estate industry, right, which is the industry that we share? And even other industries, right? What do you see people missing out on life in business? Because they’re fearful? Right? I

Salena Griffith 3:42
mean, I know that there’s so many people out there that have big dreams and big goals, and maybe they don’t know where to start. Or maybe they’re just too scared to start. And, you know, having that confidence and being fearless is the biggest way for them to even just start attaining those goals and, and really being where they want to be in life. If they have dreams, they can reach them. They just they really need to try they need to get out there and start not be scared.

Justin Stoddart 4:15
So you see it that again, people have these big goals, and possibly the only thing or at least the first thing that’s keeping them is this this fear that’s keeping them from not trying, right, right? Like what Well, I don’t think I’m ready to do that. Right. We’ve all had that. Right. Like, I don’t know if I’m ready for that. Like so we sit back and sit back and sit back. Obviously you’ve you’ve experienced success both in business, right, both in beauty pageants now, and deep deep work and charitable giving. Right, right. You kind of have like a, like a broad view of, of humanity of people. Right and their kind of hesitancy what what causes that you think what what causes people to be fearful.

Salena Griffith 5:01
I know that there’s a lot of things that limit people, a lot of it is self doubt, maybe they don’t give themselves enough value, or maybe, unfortunately, some people have grown up feeling that they’re just not good enough. And that’s not true of anybody. Because if they really believe it, they can do it. And there’s, there’s nothing that should be holding anybody back. So I think a lot of it is just self doubt. Or maybe it’s other people telling them that they can’t do it, or they’re not good enough. And that’s something that really frustrates me because it doesn’t matter what anybody says to you. It’s what you feel and what you know that you can do. So if somebody else is telling you that you can’t do it, you can you most definitely can’t, if you think you can, you can do it.

Justin Stoddart 5:44
For that’s, that’s interesting, isn’t it? Because what I hear you saying slain is that all too often we are deciding whether or not we can based on what somebody else says, as to, as opposed to what we believe. And I think all too often, again, we we tend to absorb other people’s feelings about us. And we pay so much attention to that, that it really keeps us in that spike, it keeps us almost in trapped by the opinions of others. Fascinating, right? So everybody who’s listening to this today can say, okay, if I’m not where I want to be in business, and in life, it might very well start to change by me actually, being more confident. And the way to be more confident, is to take a look around me to say, Who am I believing that’s telling me that I can’t, right? Like, what are my outside influences that are that are coming at me. And I’m absorbing and believing it saying that I’m not ready for that? I can’t I love that. But that’s really empowering, isn’t it? Because all of a sudden, we’d kind of break free from the opinions of other people.

Salena Griffith 6:50
Right? There’s also the internal self doubt, you know, maybe you have failed before and it was embarrassing, or you have failed so many times that you just don’t want to try again. But did it? I mean, it did it really hurt that bad. Can you not keep trying? Can you not try new things, you know, that internal fear of failure is also a really big issue. So if you can get over that fear and just continue to ask and continue to try, something is going to stick. So I think a fear of failure internally is also another big issue. And I have failed so many times. But my successes are so much higher that I continue to try. You know, I’ve heard the word no more times than I can count. But I’ve heard the word yes. enough times that it makes it worth it.

Justin Stoddart 7:37
That’s powerful. That’s incredible. Right there, my friend. I love that, you know, couple stories that come to mind. So one of my mentors in life and business, his name’s Russell Brunson. Some know the name. Anyway, he talks about how he will never invest in a company. And less that the owner of that company has failed at least once, if not twice. The more failures that that company owner has had, the more willing he’s willing to invest in them, because he said, there’s a blind spot that happens when we’ve never failed. And that blind spot actually keeps us from being who we could be like, once we fail, we’re actually now more equipped to go succeed. And then that fascinate, sometimes we’d get it the opposite, based on what I’m hearing you say is that sometimes we think because we failed, will I probably going to fail again? No. Right? Look at it correctly, there’s the lessons that’s going to help you you’re one step closer to succeeding as long as you learn from those lessons, right?

Salena Griffith 8:33
Yeah. Yeah. And that constructive criticism that comes with failing only helps you and makes you better. But unfortunately, some people just think, okay, I failed at this, I’m just gonna go back to what I was doing. Forget my dreams and my goals and, and everything. I don’t need that. But you know, in, in real estate, if you don’t get the listing, are you going to stop asking for other listings? If you don’t get the referral from one friend, are you going to stop asking for referrals from somebody else, you have to keep trying, and you have to keep going. There’s women in the pageant industry, that have competed 510 15 times, and have never won a title or a crown. But they keep trying, and eventually they will win, because they’re learning from their mistakes they’re learning from, from their failures, basically. So we always have to keep trying and keep pushing. And if you fail at one thing, and you want to start something new, or if you’re just getting into real estate, because maybe you weren’t happy with where you were, that’s a great start, you know, doing something that you really want to do. But then just gaining that confidence and the self assurance that you can do it will go so far. I love it.

Justin Stoddart 9:45
Another story that I’m reminded of all of it sometimes again, we look at it failing at pain, something bad. So my son turned 14 over the weekend and I took him and several other friends paintballing now this guy hasn’t been paid Balling Since he was one I’m in his early 20s. So I just assume, okay, this is gonna be like, awesome. And it was, but those things hurt. I’ve got four wells, like black and blue welts on my body. And I remember my son, after the first round, this is hilarious. I said, corn Did you get hit? Because game was over? And he’s like, No, I think you hit I was like, nice job, you won. And he’s like, No, I put my gun up and said, I was out. But he said, I didn’t want to get hit. And I said, Oh, garba No, I said, we came here to create experiences, if you don’t get hit, like, there’s no memories, there’s no experiences. So from then on, he became more fearless. And it was amazing. The stories that we had to tell on the way home and dad, I have a monkey bump on the back of my head. That one hurts so bad. Oh, and this, all the friends are like comparing welts. And it was like, That pain is what created the story. It’s what karimun like the the amazing experience of how they learned from that and how they weren’t gonna do that again. And again, we’re just kind of uncovering for everybody listening here today. Is it because you failed once? Good on you, right? That means you stuck your neck out there wants now go do it again and go do it again. Like success is getting closer and closer with every Well, every day. So so that quote,

Salena Griffith 11:15
but did you die? I mean, you just keep going and keep keep failing if you have to, to get to your goals.

Justin Stoddart 11:27
I love it. I love it. It’s the only way right? It’s the only way number one to create a memorable life. Yes. And number two, the only way to succeed, right? So let’s talk about how else we fix this. Right? I know, you’ve got at least 10 points that you go deep with people on right? Whether they’re business professionals, whether they’re beauty pageant contestants, of really helping them to be fearless like you can imagine, right? I mean, I can’t imagine being in front of an audience wearing less clothes than I probably feel comfortable. And then having to like, answer intelligently to questions that like, there’s a lot to it, right? And I think you obviously have a deep background in helping people to like, get rid of the anxiety, get rid of the fear and go do it right and go do it. So what other tips would you have Selena to really help people to step into that I’m fearless, I’m bowling, I’m gonna go get the life that I want.

Salena Griffith 12:14
Right? Like you said, I have 10 steps that I, I really, I can go deeper into. And they are life steps. It’s not just for real estate, it is for life. But each step can be used towards the pageant world, obviously, they can be used in real estate, they can be used in daily life, in your relationships at home, they can be used throughout your entire life. And each, each step may not apply to everybody, you know, everybody kind of has their own things that they need to work on each step is very important. But some steps will be a little bigger for one person than the next. And one thing that we that I’ve recently touched base on that, I think that that hit home for quite a few people was the self care, the self care step, and you can’t pour from an empty cup. So you really need to take care of yourself and fill your cup before you can help others and I’m super grateful that I have a full cup, I fill my cup often, you know, I’m constantly taking time for myself, I’m able to say no to people, I’m able to ask for help from people. And I think that that helps me fill my cup so that I can help others and and that’s my passion, philanthropy and real estate and helping people so, you know, helping people become more confident really fills my cup.

Justin Stoddart 13:44
Love it. So this whole concept of of self care, I don’t know that people naturally would connect that to being fearless, right? Fearless things like You’re like you don’t have time for like self care. But But what you’re saying is like that’s at the heart of being fearless. You have to be you have to be well, right? And you have to like actually devote time to yourself is that is that what I’m understanding?

Salena Griffith 14:06
I don’t feel that you are your best self and your most confident self. If you’re not happy with yourself, if you’re not taking time for you, and doing the self care. I mean, I’m I have all of these animals and I have a child and a husband and I have multiple businesses that I’m that I’m running, but I make the time for myself so that I can be the best version of me and I can be the most confident version of me. Because that’s without a doubt what has made me such a successful person is my competence.

Justin Stoddart 14:44
I love it. Talk to us about about what you do. I think that the audience would be interested in hearing what this lien is self care look like right? Because you’re busy, right? You’ve got a very successful real estate business you’re involved in. Well, I don’t know how many charities What 510

Salena Griffith 14:59
I may have to throw be five right now you’re

Justin Stoddart 15:02
very involved in charitable world, you have a farm you like the rest of us get up in and have to like, think about feeding ourselves and maybe your kids, you have an entire farm that you have that you take care of right? You have, like extraordinary amount of commitments already. Right? So how do you fit in time for self care? What does it look like?

Salena Griffith 15:19
You know, I will say I’m not really a TV or movie person. And I don’t take time on the couch to sit and watch TV when I do it is mindless Dateline type, you know, I just I don’t watch a lot of TV. But but when I do, it’s pretty simple. And it kind of depends on you know, how much time I need what I need. Am I losing my mind? Or do I just need five minutes. And I’ve said this a few times. I’m a car sitter, I sit in the car and collect my thoughts without any music without any noise, no animals, no children, no work, no nothing. And I’ll just sit in my car and collect my thoughts. And for me that doing that once or twice a day is, is pretty good just to be able to sit in silence for a little while. But I take time, I guess my hobbies are also my self care if I need to just go brush my horse or ride my horse or take him for a walk or work in the garden. You know, all of that is very therapeutic to me. I love a spa day though. spa day is like over the top self care for me. I know for some people that’s extra and it is for me as well. But I love a good spa day. And I love to golf and I like I like to go on date nights with my husband but to me that’s date nights with my husband is marriage care. It’s not self care. And doing things with my kiddo is, you know, our mommy son time. That’s not necessarily self care. That’s mandatory in my world. Going out with my girlfriends again, it’s it’s great for me, but that’s friendship care. It’s not self care. It’s things that I I need to do to keep my relationships and everything but self care to me is something I’m doing just for me. It’s self care is not selfish, but it is just for me.

Justin Stoddart 17:06
Yeah, well, everybody else in your life benefits. When you come back from the self care. Yes, my wife started, I don’t know, it’s been maybe a year now where every month she just has like a standing date to go get a massage. And she comes back like way happier and way better. Right? And it’s like, We were fine for a couple of hours without her right? We just did. We did okay, we didn’t find another like nobody died. And, and she comes back like so much better. Right? And she pours so much into our family that that’s like the least she could. That’s all right. Okay, great. Go ahead. We’re a mom

Salena Griffith 17:36
and a business owner to realize life will go on if you take an hour to yourself is is the biggest deal. You know, I for a long time, especially when my kiddo was really little. I was like, oh, what happens if I get a phone call when I’m in the spa for an hour and are the school’s calling and life is gonna go on? It’s gonna be okay to take an hour away from your phone business is going to go on. It’s okay to take an hour to yourself.

Justin Stoddart 17:59
Yeah, yeah. 100% agree, is that we are not, like on call doctors, right? It’s not life or death. Right? We don’t get back to, to that email or that phone call right away. Right? Set the expectation with people and go take care of yourself. Because when you come back, you’ll be a lot better I love it. Let’s let’s let’s do another one. Okay, so self care actually committing the time to go be by yourself taking care of yourself. Alright worth it. What’s What’s something else later that you think would be critical for people to be more fearless to be actually show up more confident and tap into that potential. That’s, that’s, you know, inside of them.

Salena Griffith 18:36
So one thing that we had talked about earlier was my philanthropy and my love for philanthropy. And I truly think that helping others and giving back is an A great way to prove your competence and to give you some self assurance as well. So if anybody out there is looking for any charity or organization or a way to give back, I would love to help somebody with that. Because not only does it help the other person, but it’s really helping you and it’s really fulfilling for you. And it’s a great way for realtors to network and meet people. It’s a great way to get out there and speak to other people if you’re feeling a little bit self conscious about speaking. I know that one thing that I I’ve done for the last 15 years helping with all of my Charities is asking for sponsors. And a lot of people don’t like to do it. They don’t like to ask for money or you know, gift for a raffle. And I’m totally fine asking if they say no, they say no, I asked the next person you know, that’s okay. You can say no, I can hear the word no, I get some yeses. It’s amazing. I’m helping somebody else. So and a lot of businesses love it. But it just takes somebody who’s fearless enough to go ask for the sponsor and ask for the business. So for realtors to go help, you know any, any organization really and get involved in help other people in meet families. And usually it’s struggling families, it really makes them feel good. It helps everybody full circle. And I think that that’s just really added value to personal competence.

Justin Stoddart 20:15
You bring up a really interesting point is that sometimes we have a hesitancy asking for things for ourselves, right? Either whether we feel like it’s selfish, or whether we feel like we’re being too vulnerable, because we’re, we’re coming out of need. But I love this point, I think there’s a lot of depth to it. Number one, it’s a good thing to do to be a good human, right? Number two, it’s almost like a, like a practice area for you to get good at asking for things. One of my favorite mentors, just heard him quote the other day, and I don’t think it’s his quote, but he said, the world will give you whatever you want, as long as you ask intelligently for it. I don’t know if that’s good grammar, but but you get the point like is it you can go get it, but you, you have to be intelligent about how you go and ask for it. I think, if you’re reluctant to go ask for business, if you’re reluctant to go ask for partnerships, if you’re elected to go ask for. Right? Whatever, that may be a great place for you to grow that confidence is by going and finding a cause that you’re super passionate about. And that you can really get behind. And now it’s not about you anymore, right? It’s about something bigger than you. And I mean, I was super excited that that at our events, right, that in which you were a great speaker at that, you know, we were able to give back to charity that I’m passionate about right, which is operation underground railroad. And it’s really fun to like, say like, okay, yeah, I’m charging for the tickets 100%. And a percentage of this is going to an amazing cause, like it’s, it makes it a lot more easier to ask for stuff to get when it’s something that you’re passionate about. So I love that I think these are two cylinder that I think a lot of people would not have expected. But as we’ve done it on here, it makes total sense that these these are great ways for people to be more fearless be more confident.

Salena Griffith 21:59
Yeah, I agree. And then, you know, if people are practicing with the charities and organizations asking for things, it really goes into real estate. Well, you can ask for referrals, you can ask for testimonials. You can ask, did I get the listing? Do we have a deal? You know, do we have a deal with the sponsorship? If you’re asking for charity? Why can’t you go to your client say, Do we have a deal? Do I have the listing, so it does really fit into the real estate world as well. And fits in life? Also, you know, if I, if you have to ask your spouse, can you just watch the kid for 15 minutes, so I can have self care time which, in my opinion, you shouldn’t have to ask your spouse to go have self care time. But that’s for another day. I’m just asking for what you need. And for what you want. Even if you hear the word no. Take it.

Justin Stoddart 22:57
I love it. So good. So good. I’m excited to have you back. But before we end, I want to I want to make a very special announcement that I know in your heart, you’ve really been coaching people for a very long time, right? This is really just kind of who you are, is that naturally people around you, they get great advice. They get great mentorship, because that’s in your heart. That’s that’s who you are right? You’re a mentor, you’re a leader. And I’m super excited to be able to announce to you know, the Think bigger real estate audience that as Selena is the newest coach on the Think bigger platform. And so fun. So for those in the audience, like like, what does that mean? If like, if you’ve ever wanted to be like, have your confidence, mentor it right to have someone who’s really diagnosing, okay, where are you at? Where do you want to be at? And what areas are you lacking confidence, she’s going to be able to spend time with you every week, really digging in to uncovering that. And I know this is a passion for you, because we’ve talked about this about how there are women out there who you feel like in particular, who sometimes get ran over whether it’s in personal relationships, whether it’s in business relationships, and how fun for you and I to be able to really come together in a partnership now to say like, let’s help these people. Let’s help them tap into those, that massive potential that’s inside of them.

Salena Griffith 24:12
Yes, I’m really excited. I am. I’m a girl’s girl. And I love spending time with other women. And I want them to all be confident and fearless. And they’re the kind of women that I love spending time with. You know, it’s like all of my girlfriends were such powerful women. And together it’s so fun. And so when I see somebody struggling with it, I just want to help them because I feel like there’s so much potential in them and they see it too. They just need to get there. So I love I love to help other people and I think I think this is just a perfect opportunity. And especially with my fellow real estate, women or anybody in general, but just my fellow co workers and Co Op agents. I want us to all be on a level playing field and I want it everybody to just feel confident and fearless.

Justin Stoddart 25:03
So cool. So fun. So really, for those that want to know more about this, what this looks like really where you get access direct one on one access to Selena, as well as access to what we’re building that the amazing resources that we’re building, I think for your real estate, to help you to think bigger and to go produce the business that funds the life that you actually want. I would encourage you to just reach out to me probably the easiest way would be on Instagram. Just find me there at Justin Stoddart, just send me a quick, a quick message. You can even put Selena’s name in there. And we’ll schedule a quick call just to see kind of where you’re at, if it’s the right fit, it’ll be probably a couple interviews, again, where she has very limited seating, if you will, like very limited spots, because she again, she has all these other commitments, but this is her passion to be able to do this and to pour into people. And so it’ll be it’ll be a kind of an application process to see if it’s the right fit. It’ll be a conversation with me, it’ll be a conversation with Selena, and then we’ll decide if, if we really feel like you’re the right person, for us to really pour into, you’ll get you’ll get, you’ll get both of us, you’ll get both of us really poured into you in a big way. And it’s it’s super fun. I’m thrilled about it. Selena, I’m honored to have you, again, making this this step in really following your passion and for us to have built an ecosystem to be able to support you in this. It’s awesome.

Salena Griffith 26:20
Thank you. I’m super excited. I think that we fit so well together in both of what we’re passionate about. I think that it’s perfect.

Justin Stoddart 26:28
Yeah, no, I couldn’t agree more. So one final question, right that I ask every guest that comes on on the show every every contestant that walks across the stage, here we go. gets answered this question is Selena, you are a big thinker. Right? What do you do to continue to be a big thinker to continue to expand your possibilities every day? What does it look like for you?

Salena Griffith 26:50
I have a lot of really big dreams and big goals. So kind of like we’ve talked about today, I just keep going and I keep trying. My biggest thing is, is not being fearless and trying and just going I’ve heard a lot of nose lately on what I’m what I’m trying to do. But continue asking, I think is my my big thing is just keep trying, don’t give up.

Justin Stoddart 27:14
I love that anybody that succeed at the highest levels, all we see is their highlight reel. It’s like, oh, they did it. And it was like overnight, is like all the times they asked and tried and were checked in and decline. And again, that’s what I that’s what I see the secret to your success, right and the secret to the success that you want other people to have. So like I want to thank you so much for for this opportunity. Again, there will be there will be many more thrilled to have that opportunity to work directly with you. It’s going to be a blast. And we are thrilled to change people’s lives and really, again, help them to tap in to the deep, deep potential that’s inside of you the listener that’s listening with us today. That’s the That’s the mission that we’re on for ourselves. And that’s the mission that we’re leading to help other people to be honest. Well, so Selena, thank you. Appreciate you very much. And that’s everybody listening my my final request is this. Three simple words and they are go think bigger. Selena, thanks for helping us do that today, my friend.

Salena Griffith 28:08
Thanks so much.