These past few days have been tough. Despite doing my best to live an honest and good life, sometimes I flat out mess up. Specifically, sometimes I under-disclose. Other times I over-disclose. The past few days, I’ve felt some consequences of doing this, which unfortunately, have hurt some friends of mine.
As ‘the crap hit the fan’ so to speak, I felt the weight of the world on my chest. It just didn’t feel good… to the point that I sat aimlessly surfing Facebook for an hour after everyone left my office, just trying to get my head around the situation. Upon arriving home, I was quiet and reserved and my night was very restless.
It wasn’t until I completely:
- quit rationalizing my behavior
- quit excusing myself
- went to all of the parties affected, even if by way of a voicemail, and told them that I made a mistake, that there was no excuse, and that I was asking for their forgiveness
…that the weight lifted and I felt peace.
It still wasn’t right what I did, nor did it fix the hurt inflicted on others, but I feel peace and am more determined to be better.