Many real estate agents miss out on the massive referral opportunity that exists on social media because they show up without intention or with the wrong intentions.

Here, I share an easy-to-remember metaphor and simple-to-implement tactics to help you turn your social media into a referral machine.

Invited to the party 

Imagine you’ve just received an invitation to a party you’ve wanted to attend for a very long time. Now consider how you might prepare for this event, prepare to see those who could open doors to opportunity for you professionally. Would you put a lot of thought into your appearance, or would you show up? Would you bring anything to contribute, or would you come without anything in hand? How would your demeanor be: would you be active listening and thoughtful and gracious, or would you bring up controversial topics? Would you be mindful of deep connections and let curiosity drive you into deeper relationships? With these choices in mind, will you be invited back?

You might be following the imagery by now: this is how we should consider how we show up on our Social Media platform. We need to be prepared, come with something valuable to contribute, and genuinely engaged in those who are also there.

Mindful of the host

If, for instance, Zuckerberg and his social media algorithms are the host of this proverbial party, you will want to do the things that help you earn invitations to future parties, introductions to other key attendees, and hold a healthy decorum that keeps your audience engaged and feeling seen by you.

The following tips will help you form your intentional brand based on how you show up on your social medium of choice. Your brand is beyond your logo, it is the best – authentic – version of who you are and how you show up.

  • What can I bring that offers value to others?
  • Engage in other people’s conversations
  • Direct Messages 
  • Follow recommended groups and people for further connections 

If you wouldn’t behave like this at a party in person, you shouldn’t behave like this online. This is how we take advantage of the party you’ve earned an invitation to.


  1. LEARN: 10 pages from a book and 1 training a day. Have a daily practice of gaining value around what it is you do: what is the unique knowledge I can gain and study prior to showing up that I can bring to this platform? Apply critical thought to your audience. Here are some ideas:
    1. What is happening in the market 
    2. What happens in your unique community 
    3. Business strategy 
  2. PURPOSE: Come with intention, asking yourself to whom it is that you will intentionally offer value. Open your CRM and purposely search these connections in your social media. Don’t leave it up to chance with the algorithm. 
    1. Who are my key partners, what is happening in their world?
    2. Leave a thoughtful comment or engaging value to what is important to them. Congratulate them, mourn with them, thank them: be authentic  
  3. CONNECT: Review Stories and choose who would be the most beneficial to connect with. Respond in a private conversation to the one you feel you can genuinely connect to. Social media is designed for us to be social
  4. POST: Now that you know what is important to your audience, and you’ve filled your learning time with content that is relevant, reach your people with a post! 

This is a practice that should last you about 30 minutes each day – don’t get lost surfing and scrolling! You can also learn from my very vulnerable lesson not to try to convince people to leave the party they’re at (proverbially), or buy your way to followers. With intention and using the tactics laid out in this training, you will avoid embarrassment, burnout and lost time, and be on your way to some great and genuine connections. 

Now it’s time to join the party and have some fun! 



When you're ready, here are a few ways we at Think Bigger Real Estate can help you...

1. Get Your Personalized Referral Score™. Discover how much untapped commission dollars are available inside your sphere and professional network AND the first step you can take to capture this low-hanging fruit CLICK HERE

2. Join our free mastermind: Think Bigger Real Estate. Everyone wants to work by referral but what do you do when your goals outpace the number of your referrals received? To learn how to scale up your referral-based business CLICK HERE  

3. Schedule a conversation to explore what it looks like to work with us directly:
To get help becoming a top professional with a 7-Figure-Funded, Significant Life (growing a wildly successful enterprise without losing focus on what matters most (body, mind, heart and spirit) CLICK HERE